What should I expect from my first massage?
There will be a short intake process that involves filling out a medical history form, disclosure of terms and conditions, and a short conversation about what it is you're looking to get out of the treatment. I will step out of the room and, after undressing to your comfort level, you will position yourself beneath the sheets on the massage table. Most of the time, we will begin with you lying face down, your face cushioned in a cradle that helps to open and expose the nape and shoulders.
I will return after a few minutes, knocking on the door before entering. From there, all you need to do is relax. Slow, full, deep breaths. This will help oxygenate the tissues and improve circulation. I will budget the time spent in different areas appropriately, depending on the treatment you're looking for.
When the session is complete, I will let you know, then step out of the room, closing the door behind me. At your own pace, you can get up, stretch and get dressed. When you are finished, you can open the door and we will go on from there. Remember to stay hydrated and refrain from diuretics such as caffeine to maximize the benefits.
Am I supposed to undress completely?
No, that is not necessary. Most people feel comfortable undressing down to their underwear (bottoms), though it's not uncommon for some to undress completely for their massage. I've given massage to people who are fully clothed. It all depends on your individual level of comfort. As a general rule though, the less skin that is covered, the better the quality of the massage.
Your body will be completely covered by the sheet, excluding the region I am working on at the time. I follow all professional draping and covering procedures.
Is there anything I'm supposed to do during my massage?
There is nothing you need to do unless requested. Depending on the purpose of the massage, you might be asked to do different things, such as breathing during Trigger Point release. Most of the time though, I only need your passive participation. I generally won't need help with positioning you during stretches or draping.
How long does a massage usually last? How long should I book an appointment for?
A typical massage appointment lasts 1 hour, though it is not uncommon for them to last longer.
- A 30-minute session can provide substantial relief for tension in the neck and shoulders.
- A 60-minute session can fully relieve the back and partially treat the rest of the body, in most cases.
- A 90-minute session can fully relieve the majority of the body in situations where tension relief is the goal.
- A 120-minute session provides full-body relief and restorative potential for chronic ailments and injury recovery.
- A 180-minute session can fully treat almost any clinical issue or induce blissful, super-indulgent, full-body relaxation.
How often should I get a massage?
This depends on what it is you intend to accomplish in our session together. If you are looking for a deep tissue treatment to remedy a chronic postural imbalance, it could require a session as often as once or twice a week. Most of the time though, people who receive bodywork regularly will schedule once every week or two.
How should I prepare for a house call?
I will need a clear space, ideally 5x8 feet, in which I can set up my table, a small sound system and my oils, lotions and sheets. This space should be as free as possible of animals, children and other potentials that could inhibit the effectiveness of the treatment... dare I say, get in the way.
I will arrive 15-30 minutes early to set everything up. If you are interested in any of the jewelry or whatever else may be available here, let me know and I will bring it with me. This way, we can skip shipping costs.
Is there any reason why massage might not be right for me?
There are occasions in which massage may be contraindicated. Most reasons are medical, such as a risk of pulmonary embolism, contagious infections, edema, skin disorders, etcetera. Generally, the massage technique can be modified so that risk for medical complications is minimized. We can discuss this in greater detail during the intake process, or you can send me an email.
Can I bring somebody with me?/Is it okay to talk during the session?
If you'd like to, go right ahead. I enjoy feedback and dialogue. Just keep in mind that if I'm engaged in continuous conversation during the treatment, I won't be able to focus as well on the massage as I otherwise would.
Am I supposed to "tip" my therapist?
As with all service professions, it is customary to offer 10-20% gratuity. However, it's not absolutely essential, and I won't take offense if you cannot tip substantially or even at all. I understand that bodywork can be difficult to afford. If you enjoyed your treatment, tip what you feel is appropriate.
Will the massage hurt?
Generally speaking, no. My style of massage is strong, yet gentle and relieving. However, there can be discomfort in the more intense treatments, such as a Deep Tissue session, Trigger Point therapy or Subscapular Release.
Do you make custom orgonite?
Yes, I do. The process is called "hootenization", named after the people who pioneered the technique. If you have an idea in mind, run it by me and I will see what I can do about it.
What is your cancellation policy?
I kindly request 24 hours notice. I won't hold it against you if you can't make an appointment; circumstances change, things come up, but if it becomes a continuous thing, I may stop allowing appointments to be scheduled with you.
Do you take walk-in clients?
Not at the moment, no. Due to a combination of issues including location, popularity and availability, it's not a feasible option for me right now. I take sessions by appointment only. This isn't to say that I am unavailable for same-day appointments; I simply require notification 2-3 hours beforehand.
What if I'm pregnant?
I have minimal training in that area, so pregnancy massage is not an option. I can do energy therapy for the purpose of balancing and encouraging optimal developmental characteristics, physical, spiritual, emotional and interpersonal.
What forms of payment do you accept?
I currently accept cash, check, barter and precious metals. I can accept electronic payments if the appointment is booked through Golden Bodyworker. I do not accept insurance because its terms say I can't sell nutrient supplements.
What is the Oxygen/H-Ionization experience like?
It's not a high, if that's the question. The experience, independent of the massage, is actually very subtle. In essence, the cells get to breathe after being oxygen-deprived for who-knows-how-many years, and your body's tissues are then capable of major changes with minimal discomfort, when they otherwise would not be.
What you'll notice is a general decrease in pain, increased flexibility, increased ease in accommodating adjustments and pressure, and casual calmness and lucidity. Some massages can normally leave one sore for a while, depending on what is going on, but this treatment appears to reduce initial and residual soreness anywhere from 50-90%.
It's worth noting that cancer tissue is anaerobic. It doesn't handle oxygen well. Or an alkaline pH, for that matter. Take a shot of wheat grass before using this modality in your appointment to promote oxygen absorption even further! Oxygen is increasingly active in alkaline environments, so it's worth considering, especially if you like your soda.
What does the term "completed referrals" mean?
It means that the person who was referred has completed the initial appointment that they were referred for. I ask for the referrals to be complete because an indefinite 30% off can be a lot when one is building a small business.
So what're all the colors on your website about?
I have an uncommon fascination with nonlinear phenomena. It's usually spectrums and gradients, particularly when fractal and/or logarithmic. In this case, it manifests as a strong appreciation of melody and hue. I also appreciate their linear counterparts, percussion and tint/shade. I'm intrigued by the limits of human perception and this color scheme is an expression of that.
The logo is called "A Complete Human Being". Human consciousness, expressed as primary colors, diverging from a central point, is protected and guided, yet eclipsed, by a ring of light, representing the Unmanifest as well as the unconditional love of Divinity, that through its Grace, we might be capable of anything at all.
The concept is mine. The digital editing was done by Denver graphic artist Carrie Carrigan, and her website is CherryCreatives.com
Can you detail for me what I need to do for the Silver Special?
You'll need to locate a retailer of 1oz junk silver rounds. By "junk silver", I mean that it has no numismatic (collector's) value, like a Chinese Panda coin would. What is printed on it doesn't mean much to me, only that it says 1 troy ounce, with what should be .999 purity. You can buy it various places online as well, but it's just as easy (and affordable) to buy it retail if you know how to do it. It's better to buy online though, if obtaining a bulk quantity.
If you visit my Silver page, you'll notice a chart that shows what the spot price is. Take note of this price before you make your purchase. "Spot" is the internationally-accepted value of a 1oz round. In most precious metal transactions, the price for the buyer will be a little higher than spot, especially in retail. This is how they keep their businesses open. So they'll say "Spot plus 3" or something similar, depending on the store and their inventory. If they say "Spot plus 3", and Spot is $22, the price of the 1oz round will be $25 plus tax. I'm comfortable with and recommend Wild West Traders on Washington St, in downtown Golden. I believe they are a legitimate and fair business. Do not do business with "Cash 4 Gold" places or pawn shops, whether you are buying or selling. They'll rip you off every time. You're safest with either secure online ordering, like Midas Resources or with retail coin dealers that also sell collector's items such as collector's coins, stamps and antique firearms.
Saving precious metals is about retaining purchasing power in a fiat, inflationary economy. If you're going to build a stash, don't tell anybody about it, as metals are very liquid, and very easy to steal. Remember, if you don't control it, you don't own it. If you can't afford silver but still want to save up, 1oz copper rounds are quite affordable.